Surreal Life, part two

•08/16/2011 • 1 Comment

A true story, I promise, the majority of the dialogue is accurate as far as intent and wording, but not necessarily accurate as to the timing of each line.

Scene 3

Having received no call back from the police, the Trill phones again the next day, and leaves another message. A couple of days later, the wee beast sounds the alarm that someone is at the door. (Note that the Trill had given only her cell number to the police, that it’s a prepaid phone, and yet they found her. Scary, no?)

Trill: (disheveled, hair not done, no makeup, not expecting anyone, opens the door hesitantly, to the form of a police officer who fills both his uniform and her doorway nicely) Ummm… Hi?

Constable Awesome: [insert real name here]?

Trill: Yesss..

Constable Awesome, whose awesomeness is about to make itself known, explains that he is there to get a statement, and that the Trill is in no trouble, so she need not stress. Breathing a sigh of relief, she clears off the kitchen table and sits down with him.

Const. Awesome: So, what’s your side of the story? (His face shows that he has a sense of humour, and is probably a really good guy)

The Trill and Constable Awesome spend over an hour getting her statement, four pages of his small-ish printing, and he puts her at ease, obviously sympathizing with her. She tells him about the couple in the car, and he assures her that he has already spoken to them.

Constable Awesome: If it makes you feel any better, she spent that day in the drunk tank. I want to charge her criminally with public mischief and mischief involving personal property, being your car, and if I can’t, I’m going to write her up for as many traffic violations I can find that apply.

Trill: (laughs a little) That does kind of make me feel better, a little. You’re sure I’m not in trouble?

Constable Awesome: (has advised the Trill that she should have stayed where she was, but that he understands that the situation was so out of the ordinary that her reaction was not unreasonable) No, in fact, at the lights behind you, waiting to turn, there was a cop car on its way to pick her up, she had been walking in traffic all morning, making people swerve to avoid her. She didn’t mention the incident with you, but she started flinging allegations that she had been physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, you name it. She came in on the 4th to report the incident with your car.

Trill: (shakes her head incredulously) Wow.

Constable Awesome: Yeah, and by the 6th, we had received a request for disclosure from her lawyer, so she had seen a lawyer even before she reported it. She’s obviously just looking for a lawsuit.

Trill: (turns white, then red, heart racing, tries to sound casual) Yeah, probably.

C.A.: It’ll never happen, once the lawyer gets disclosure, he’ll thank her for donating her retainer fee and drop the case.

Trill: (laughs nervously)

C.A.: Well, if you’ll sign, I think we’re done, if you have any questions, just give me a call. Oh, and the Province requires a collision report to be filed, and believe me, I fought my boss on that, but I got nowhere, so I’ll send you a copy of that.

Trill: Um, okay. (is about to cry, but holds herself together)

C.A.reassures the Trill again, is so super nice and obviously on her side, seeing her as the victim in the R.G.’s drunken escapade, smiles and ducks out the door. The Trill puts her copy of her statement into a folder and thanks God for sending her the perfect officer to handle the situation. She then cries for a little while, calls her mom, and takes a nap.

Scene 4

The Trill arrives home in the afternoon, and is greeted by Upstairs Friend Guy, who has been filled in by the Trill.

U.F.G.: Your police officer friend came by today.

Trill: Really?

U.F.G.: He had some papers to give you, but he wouldn’t leave them with me.

Trill: (tries to fight the knot of dread in her stomach, and shrugs) Weird.

The next day, it is pouring rain, and the back doorbell rings. The Trill opens the door to see Constable Awesome in wet weather uniform, lets him in, standing on the landing to talk to him.

C.A.: Here’s the collision report I told you about, it’s a Provincial thing, just send a copy to your insurance company so they have it on file, in case she tries to claim anything.

Trill: (gives the sheet a quick glance, knowing that there must be more to come) Okay, cool.

C.A.: (drops the other shoe, in the nicest possible way, everything about him conveying reassurance, he really is the nicest policeman ever). And here’s a ticket that I really didn’t want to write, I fought with my boss about this, until he flat out said ‘You will write this ticket’. So it’s a ticket for failure to report a collision, even though no one who doesn’t know traffic law inside out would never have thought that what happened was a collision. He then proceeds to explain her options: pay the fine, go to court on the specified date and try to get the ticket dismissed, and, if that doesn’t work, she can plead not guilty and go to trial, in which case he would be subpoenaed and be able to tell his side of the story.

Trill: Um, okay, thanks, that’s . . . Wow. Thanks.

C.A.: I couldn’t get her charged with public mischief, but she has been criminally charged with mischief involving personal property, so that’s something.

C.A. smiles, reminds her that she can call any time if she has concerns, and that if her insurance company wants to, should the R.G. file a claim, they can contact him, even though the police usually don’t get involved with insurance companies. The Trill is overwhelmed by gratitude and thanks him profusely before watching him walk out into the pouring rain. She then tell the U.F.G. what just happened, shaking her head at the outright absurdity of the whole fiasco, and goes back downstairs. She cries a bit, calls her mom, and is emotionally drained and more than a little stressed out.


Side note: as painfully obvious as it may already be, the Trill must admit to herself that she has a wee crush on the C.A. How is she to resist a tall blonde man with kind eyes and a sweet smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes? Not to mention that he fills out his uniform perfectly… Sadly, the one accessory he wears makes her stay in schoolgirl crush mode. It’s a subtle but nice gold ring on his left hand’ *Le sigh*

More to come as I get the motivation to write! Tune in for my trip to the courthouse, contact from the RG, and my dealings with my insurance company!


•08/15/2011 • 1 Comment

I, to my chagrin, discovered a few white hairs along my hairline the other day. Thinking that they might just be very blonde – my regrowth is dark blonde, and it’s summer, so it’s possible – I pulled one. Its texture at the colour change was distinctively different. At the age of 33 and one week, I was showing the signs of going grey.

Some women might see that as a scary sign of ageing, to be hidden with dye, or at least plucked out on sight, but I think it’s actually kind of cool. My grandma never let her hair go grey naturally, but my great-grandma had the most beautiful head of lustrous silver hair, that she always kept neatly tucked back in an old-fashioned bun. I remember one occasion, however, when I spent the night at her house, and I saw her with her hair down. It was so much longer than I had expected, and thick and shiny and simply stunning. I’ve always thought that if I could go grey like that, I would wear it proudly.

How to do it is a somewhat daunting task. My hair is waist-length, and I’ve been dyeing it red/auburn for a couple of years now. So that means that my natural colour is an elusive thing. I do *not* want to bleach my hair. It’s seen enough damage already. And colour stripping products, be they salon or drugstore brands, leave you in need of re-dyeing. Not my aim. Thus began my quest for the nicest possible way to lift some of the pigment that has been deposited in my hair without frying it to the point where I find myself chopping it all off.

The internet is a wonderful thing. So many people are using household products on their hair to try and reverse their dye jobs. Some things sound scary – laundry detergent, grease-fighting dish soap -, some bleaching, like lemon juice, and some that seemed more doable.

I decided to try the least scary one I saw. Baking soda and clarifying shampoo. After making a small bowlful of a paste, I wet my hair with water I had softened with borax – I figured if it got my laundry cleaner, it couldn’t hurt – and worked the paste into my hair. it didn’t smell bad, or sting, or do any of the things that nasty chemicals do. So I left it on for the better part of the afternoon. Oh, and the last time I dyed my hair was a couple of months ago, so it was not fresh colour. As I rinsed and then re-shampooed my hair, the water and lather ran surprisingly red. I was not expecting that much to come out! I slathered on a generous handful of conditioner and was anxious to see what it would look like dry. It was noticeably lighter. I had, however, been overzealous with the leave-in conditioner, and my hair didn’t look really clean, and it wasn’t shiny, but it felt soft. So, a success, I think, and a method worth repeating in a week or two, once my hair is back in balance.

The second thing I did was a product of more research and insomnia. Heat opens the cuticle of the hair. Some oils are able to penetrate the hair at that point. The theory behind hot oil treatments to remove unwanted hair dye is that the oil will get in there and dislodge some of the pigment. So late last night, I slathered my head with enough olive oil to thoroughly soak my hair and scalp, with some essential oils thrown in for good measure. After wrapping my head in a plastic bag and then aluminium foil, I watched a movie. My head was toasty warm, and my scalp was really happy. Not an unpleasant experience at all. After shampooing and conditioning, I could feel a difference even when it was wet. A tiny bit of conditioning spray, and I decided to let it dry naturally. This morning, my hair was even lighter! It’s still a red/brown, but much less intense. And it is now shiny and soft, and much better than yesterday.

This might just have to be my regime as I try to lift as much of this dye as I can without bleaching my hair.

And the big reason why I want this colour to go away is that if I am indeed going to go grey at this age, I want it to happen fast, and gracefully. I think I’d actually be disappointed if only a little bit changed at a time. I want a full head of gleaming silver hair. Weird, I know.

Squee! Lookit what I made!!

•07/13/2011 • 1 Comment

My beloved friends and neighbours P&J are moving to Montreal this month, and taking with them the bump that will be Baby PJ at the end of August. I am greatly saddened by this. Over the last 14 months, I have grown to love them, to look forward to coming home, knowing that they are there, even if we don’t hang out every day, their presence makes this house my home. I think I’m grieving the loss already.

But I know that they are on to an exciting stage in their lives, grad school for J and the wee babe!!! And, thanks to the miracle of Skype and Facebook, they really won’t be far away. Anyway, the point of the post is that I made Baby PJ the most darling little bear hat. I found the pattern online, but made a couple of changes, the roll brim, the shape of the ears, and the tightness of the stitches, which is kind of my trademark. My hats tend to hold their shape on their own, but soften up after being handled, rolled, squished, and worn. I am optimistic that with some breaking in, this will look epically cute on the wee one. Sadly, holding it up to the bump that is Baby PJ gives no accurate indication of fit, though it is giggle-worthy. I’m going to make a couple more, in different textures, some softer, some with looser stitches, and in different sizes. Stay tuned for new pics!

Surreal Life

•07/06/2011 • 5 Comments

A true story, I promise, the majority of the dialogue is accurate as far as intent and wording, but not necessarily accurate as to the timing of each line.

Scene 1

A sunny Sunday morning, 8:45, the Trill is happily on her way to music practice at church. The weather is fine, it’s May 1st, and spring is becoming summer. Turning from a major road into a residential area, this Sunday is about to become anything but routine.

Trill internal monologue: (singing along with CD,in a good mood) Girl walking down the middle of the road. Odd. (stops several feet away to let jaywalker go) Um… She’s not crossing. She’s coming this way. and what could I possibly have done to deserve the look in her eyes and the double middle finger? Okaaaaay.

Random Girl: (walks up to the vehicle, both arms extended, scowling, and stops inches from the bumper, stands there, not moving or speaking for long moments)

Trill: (puzzled, takes foot slightly off brake, hoping that forward motion will cause girl to move away)

Random Girl: (turns around, hops onto the hood of the car, scoots back to sit on the hood.)

Trill: Oh. My. Gosh. (car has accelerated due to brake being released, Trill applies the brake to stop the car.)

R.G.: (Slides forward, lands on her feet, then on her side.)

Trill: (reverses a few feet, opens door and stands behind it, looking at the R.G.) What are you doing?

R.G.: Call the f***ing cops! Go on, call the f***ing cops! You just run me down like a savage!”

Trill: (stunned silence for a moment, shocked expression on face) Um, no, you jumped onto my car!

A car pulls up beside the Trillmobile, older couple with window down who saw the incident)

Gentleman: (to R.G) What are you doing?

Trill: She jumped on my car!!

Gentleman: We saw! (to R.G.) Get out of the road!!

The couple pull away, leaving the Trill contemplating her options. Seeing that the R.G.’s exposed lower legs and forearms bear no marks, and having seen that her head did not strike the pavement, the Trill wishes to avoid confrontation with an obviously unstable and potentially dangerous person. Trill re-enters her vehicle, reverses to give the R.G. a wide berth, and drives slowly, seeing that the R.G. is on her feet, approaching another vehicle in exactly the same manner.

Trill: (music off, shaken, anxiety level way high) Um, Jesus, help!

At the church, a distraught Trill attempts to laugh off the incident, telling the story to her pastor and the rest of the music team before rehearsal. All agree that she had done the right thing, given the bizarre circumstances. The Trill plays the guitar poorly, goes home and calls her mom, and is upset for quite some time.

Scene 2

The next Sunday, another beautiful day, the Trill is once again at music practice, feeling much better, until the sound tech approaches her, grinning.

Sound Tech: I heard about your car on the radio on Friday, it literally made my day, I laughed so hard. The police were asking for anyone with information about the incident last Sunday to come forward, they even had the colour, make and model of your car!

Trill: (jaw dropped)

The Trill proceeds home and uses her google-fu to find the press release. Anxiety level skyrockets. She seeks the advice of neighbours, her mom, and her pastor. Knowing that the right thing to do is call, she braces herself and phones the police on Monday, leaving a voicemail with her name and number for the officer in charge of the case.

Stay tuned for the next installation!

Posting from my Xoom!

•06/11/2011 • Leave a Comment

So, I downloaded , the free WordPress app for my Xoom. I think it rocks. Still getting used to the free gesture recognition app. I have nothing to say, I just wanted to try it out. Woohoo!

New toy! Yay Xoom!

•06/10/2011 • 1 Comment

Here in socialist Canada, we have GST, a 5% goods and services tax paid on everything but groceries and a few other things. Based on income, however, GST rebates are given when you file your income tax. Long story short: I didn’t file taxes for a few years. I got decent refunds, paid off my car, and then received a lump sum GST rebate. So, I decided to save half of it and buy myself a present with the other half.

I bought a Motorola Xoom. I had looked at the specs and reviews of the iPad 2, the Blackberry Playbook, Samsung Galaxy, and the Xoom. I decided on the Xoom.


Stuff I *love*
Android 3.0 OS (Honeycomb)
Dual core processor
Slightly larger screen than iPad 2
Micro SD Card up to 32 GB (software not released just yet)
Compatibility with Google Docs, allowing for the creation of text docs and spreadsheets, etc
I’m a Google product user, so integrating Gmail, Reader, and search was a pro
iTunes library can be transferred to music player
Looking more tech-savvy than I am by having an Android product instead of an Apple
5.0 MP camera on the back, 2.0 MP in the front
Up to 5 customizable home pages. I’ve got 3 set up so far
Flash compatible
Built-in browser is similar to Chrome
Home icon on touch screen instead of the iPad button (seems minor, I know, but I care)
Longer in use and standby battery life than iPad and some other tablets


Things that I’m willing to put up with:
No Skype video chat yet (Skype’s fault, not Android)
Some Apple apps I like have yet to be adapted for Android
Not as many cool accessories on the market as for iPad
People saying “You’ve got a what?”
No USB charging

There are probably a few more things I don’t completely love, but they’re not springing to mind at the moment.

After spending hours browsing the zillions of free apps, I chose some that have turned out to be really cool, and some that were not my bag. Uninstalling them is super easy. I decided to go for a Zagg InvibleSHIELD screen cover, which has a lifetime guarantee, and to have it installed at the store, since I’m not so good with that kind of stuff. Lifetime guarantee on theĀ application, too. A Targus stylus rounds out the package.

I haven’t paid for any apps yet, but I’m sure that eventually some will catch my eye. FREE ROCK PAPER SCISSORS LIZARD SPOCK!!!!! Sheldon Cooper sound bytes included!!! Oh, and the ridiculous talking critters for iPod/iPad? Got ’em. You can actually check out the Android apps market online to see what’s out there. If you have an account, you can actually use your PC to browse the market and then pick what you want downloaded on your Xoom. Google, I love you.

So, I love my Xoom. It’s fun, lightweight but still feels solid in the hand, makes taking and sharing movies super easy, has lots of memory and is really fast, and is really easy to adapt to my specific preferences.

I’m not the geekiest, but I’ve got enough geek cred to be able to appreciate more than the most superficial aspects of this fun toy. And there’s a lot of support out there in forums. Hmmm… this could be an interesting ice breaker. “Hello sweet geek, I have an Android, can you program stuff?” Add that to the list of positives.

Oh, and I crocheted the coolest case for it, black with a light purple skull stitched on the front, purple edges, and pink lining. Cute, and squishy enough to be a bit protective. Pic to follow, I just washed it to block it into the perfect shape.

The Trill is a very happy girl.







•06/03/2011 • Leave a Comment

Millipedes and centipedes scare the bejeebers out of me. That is all.