Surreal Life

A true story, I promise, the majority of the dialogue is accurate as far as intent and wording, but not necessarily accurate as to the timing of each line.

Scene 1

A sunny Sunday morning, 8:45, the Trill is happily on her way to music practice at church. The weather is fine, it’s May 1st, and spring is becoming summer. Turning from a major road into a residential area, this Sunday is about to become anything but routine.

Trill internal monologue: (singing along with CD,in a good mood) Girl walking down the middle of the road. Odd. (stops several feet away to let jaywalker go) Um… She’s not crossing. She’s coming this way. and what could I possibly have done to deserve the look in her eyes and the double middle finger? Okaaaaay.

Random Girl: (walks up to the vehicle, both arms extended, scowling, and stops inches from the bumper, stands there, not moving or speaking for long moments)

Trill: (puzzled, takes foot slightly off brake, hoping that forward motion will cause girl to move away)

Random Girl: (turns around, hops onto the hood of the car, scoots back to sit on the hood.)

Trill: Oh. My. Gosh. (car has accelerated due to brake being released, Trill applies the brake to stop the car.)

R.G.: (Slides forward, lands on her feet, then on her side.)

Trill: (reverses a few feet, opens door and stands behind it, looking at the R.G.) What are you doing?

R.G.: Call the f***ing cops! Go on, call the f***ing cops! You just run me down like a savage!”

Trill: (stunned silence for a moment, shocked expression on face) Um, no, you jumped onto my car!

A car pulls up beside the Trillmobile, older couple with window down who saw the incident)

Gentleman: (to R.G) What are you doing?

Trill: She jumped on my car!!

Gentleman: We saw! (to R.G.) Get out of the road!!

The couple pull away, leaving the Trill contemplating her options. Seeing that the R.G.’s exposed lower legs and forearms bear no marks, and having seen that her head did not strike the pavement, the Trill wishes to avoid confrontation with an obviously unstable and potentially dangerous person. Trill re-enters her vehicle, reverses to give the R.G. a wide berth, and drives slowly, seeing that the R.G. is on her feet, approaching another vehicle in exactly the same manner.

Trill: (music off, shaken, anxiety level way high) Um, Jesus, help!

At the church, a distraught Trill attempts to laugh off the incident, telling the story to her pastor and the rest of the music team before rehearsal. All agree that she had done the right thing, given the bizarre circumstances. The Trill plays the guitar poorly, goes home and calls her mom, and is upset for quite some time.

Scene 2

The next Sunday, another beautiful day, the Trill is once again at music practice, feeling much better, until the sound tech approaches her, grinning.

Sound Tech: I heard about your car on the radio on Friday, it literally made my day, I laughed so hard. The police were asking for anyone with information about the incident last Sunday to come forward, they even had the colour, make and model of your car!

Trill: (jaw dropped)

The Trill proceeds home and uses her google-fu to find the press release. Anxiety level skyrockets. She seeks the advice of neighbours, her mom, and her pastor. Knowing that the right thing to do is call, she braces herself and phones the police on Monday, leaving a voicemail with her name and number for the officer in charge of the case.

Stay tuned for the next installation!


~ by Trillian on 07/06/2011.

5 Responses to “Surreal Life”

  1. LOL! That’s such a fantastical story that I don’t know if I can believe it.. but the details are perfect. Some people are weird.

    It reminds me of people that try to stage accidents at shopping malls to win lawsuits. I always thought those were urban legend type things.. until I met a gal that quit working out of nowhere and disappeared. Turns out she got a nice settlement and got some “sip adult beverages and watch a big ‘ol flat screen TV all day” money.

    Crazy. o_O

  2. I agree with Zer that calling the cops would have been the right thing to do, and I doubt i would have done it any differently then you did. Hard to stick around when you get the chance to avoid. Sorry that you pulled “find crazy card”.

  3. now that’s where the other’s contact details would have been useful .. hope it works out okay

  4. How unpleasant.

    And while I’m loathe to take directions from strangers, this right here:
    R.G.: Call the f***ing cops! Go on, call the f***ing cops! You just run me down like a savage!”
    is one I’d gladly follow.

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